Thursday, February 4, 2010

Position Application Letter Draft #1



Blk 123 Pizza Street
#12-34
Singapore 567890
3rd February 2010
Singapore Zoo
80 Mandai Lake Rd,
Singapore 729826
Tel: 65 6269 3411


To whom it may concern:

Junior Animal Management Officer

I am enclosing my resume in response to your advertisement for the above post which appeared in the Singapore Zoo website on 1st December 2009.

As you will see, I have recently graduated from the National University of Singapore (NUS) with a Bachelor of Science degree in Life Science (Specialization in Biology). I have been studying for the past three years, as well as working part time as a music teacher and a private tuition teacher. I feel that this demonstrates my ability to maintain dedication, motivation and enthusiasm for a project over a long period of time. In addition, balancing both work and studies have honed my time-management and organizational skills. I consider that the study of Biology appropriate for the above post, particularly the course on Life form and function which explores the development of animals. I was vice-director for an event organized by the Outdoor Activities Club in NUS. This allowed me to develop skills such as being able to develop leadership skills and oversee the whole event.

Studying at NUS gave me the opportunity to go to Toronto for a summer program, and I learnt to find ways to adapt to different circumstances and it has built my confidence in networking with people. Which I believe to be essential for the job as there needs to be good interpersonal and communication skills.

From reading your press releases I am assured that your work with wildlife, as well as conservation efforts is highly regarded in the community. I would find post of junior animal management officer would be worthwhile and challenging and I do hope that you will look favourably at my application. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,


Miss Tiffany Seow

4 Comments:

Blogger Jude Too Soon Yee said...

I feel that you should include a part of why you are interested in this job.

Also, you should use more cohesive devices. For instance, "particularly the course on Life form and function which explores the development of animals. I was vice-director for an event organized by.." I feel that you should put something like also to connect everything together.

February 5, 2010 at 6:51 PM

 
Blogger Jude Too Soon Yee said...

Oh ya forgot to wish you good luck for the writing!

February 5, 2010 at 6:59 PM

 
Blogger Jude Too Soon Yee said...

And I forgot to wish you luck again. Good luck!

February 5, 2010 at 7:02 PM

 
Blogger Stephanie said...

Soon Yee! LOL! You are spamming Tiffany's comments! =P

Hi Tiffany!

I'll start off with good points in your letter. The introduction was nicely written: informative, short and sweet. I like how the second paragraph shows how your past experiences are able to be applied in the job.

I think here are some points to note:

1. The salutation used should be "Dear Sir/Madam" because I think Brad did mention that "To whom it may concern" sounds too general.

2. "As you will see" sounds a bit informal to me. Moreover, deleting the phrase will not make any large difference.

I guess that's all from me! To reiterate Soon Yee, Good luck! =)

Cheers,
Steph

February 7, 2010 at 3:43 PM

 

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