Communication! Communication! Communication!
“Are you listening to me?”
*Blank and sheepish look*
Many of us have been asked that question however we fall into the habit of ‘in one ear, and out the other’ type of listening. Or even at times, where we suddenly cut into people’s conversations midway and sidetrack the topic with our responses and own experiences, which I like others have been guilty of doing so, much to my chagrin. However, old habits die hard and taking this module in effective communication is important to me as I would like to learn to engage the speaker not only through attentive and active listening but to be able to provide good feedback pertaining to what the speaker is trying to bring across. This would be especially useful in terms of during lecture, where I tend to zone out midway as it drags on partly due to the fact that I do not understand what the lecturer is talking about and also partly due to being easily distracted by other things. So now I understand that to engage in effective communication would be to at least scan through the notes on what the lecturer is going to talk about as well as focus on the lecturer and try to digest what he is saying.
Talking about effective communication brings up one situation which I experienced to mind. I applied for and got a post as vice director organizing an event in an activities club. And being a first year student and being very new to the university environment and its way of operation, I was quite lost as to how to handle the project. However, my boss was not clear as to how I was supposed to support him as we went about trying to create an exciting event. And we mostly communicated via sms, emails and through msn, which now I look back on was quite a huge mistake as many things which he wanted done in a specific way was not conveyed to me, as these channels were only means of almost only linear communication, lacking the depth of face-to-face conversations. And that made me very stressed because I had to keep on clarifying with him and it felt like I was not doing my job properly because of the many times I had to double check with him. This went on till the point where I did not really like to ask for his clarification any longer. The event took off with a few hitches, although the amount of stress it caused us could have been lessened if we had only communicated properly to each other.
Through this incident I realized how important effective communication is for a project to be smoothly carried out without much incidences and misunderstandings. And I really do hope that through this module, I would be a more effective communicator and through this be able to achieve my potential in life.
PS: looks like its going to be a fun module :)
*Blank and sheepish look*
Many of us have been asked that question however we fall into the habit of ‘in one ear, and out the other’ type of listening. Or even at times, where we suddenly cut into people’s conversations midway and sidetrack the topic with our responses and own experiences, which I like others have been guilty of doing so, much to my chagrin. However, old habits die hard and taking this module in effective communication is important to me as I would like to learn to engage the speaker not only through attentive and active listening but to be able to provide good feedback pertaining to what the speaker is trying to bring across. This would be especially useful in terms of during lecture, where I tend to zone out midway as it drags on partly due to the fact that I do not understand what the lecturer is talking about and also partly due to being easily distracted by other things. So now I understand that to engage in effective communication would be to at least scan through the notes on what the lecturer is going to talk about as well as focus on the lecturer and try to digest what he is saying.
Talking about effective communication brings up one situation which I experienced to mind. I applied for and got a post as vice director organizing an event in an activities club. And being a first year student and being very new to the university environment and its way of operation, I was quite lost as to how to handle the project. However, my boss was not clear as to how I was supposed to support him as we went about trying to create an exciting event. And we mostly communicated via sms, emails and through msn, which now I look back on was quite a huge mistake as many things which he wanted done in a specific way was not conveyed to me, as these channels were only means of almost only linear communication, lacking the depth of face-to-face conversations. And that made me very stressed because I had to keep on clarifying with him and it felt like I was not doing my job properly because of the many times I had to double check with him. This went on till the point where I did not really like to ask for his clarification any longer. The event took off with a few hitches, although the amount of stress it caused us could have been lessened if we had only communicated properly to each other.
Through this incident I realized how important effective communication is for a project to be smoothly carried out without much incidences and misunderstandings. And I really do hope that through this module, I would be a more effective communicator and through this be able to achieve my potential in life.
PS: looks like its going to be a fun module :)
posted by ♥tiffany at
9:38 PM
9 Comments:
Hi there Tiffany!
I could't agree more that when working together in a group, the communication channel is one of the most important factors. At times, the proper message is not conveyed the way you want it to be if the wrong media is chosen.
I have to admit that there were times where I resorted to e-mail and sms as being the most "effective" way of communication in a committee. Recently I had to deal the effects of a communication breakdown because a member did not receive an important e-mail.So, who is to be blame? The Internet? To a certain extent, yes. However, let's be realistic! The incident had taught me a good lesson.
Therefore, I am sure being involved in organising committee is the platform for most of us to start practising our effective communication skills if we haven't do so.
January 23, 2010 at 10:43 PM
Salut Tiffany!
Like you have mention, sometimes we will "zonk out" during lessons when we cannot grasp hold of the concepts.But I believe,'er-hem', it could be due to a lot of other reasons too!
Most of us are easily distracted.So how do we give attention to others? What if you were really tired and you can't seem to concentrate in class?
January 23, 2010 at 10:46 PM
It is interesting to note how people can allow communication breakdowns to go on. When a situation is not going right, should not it be fixed? I am sure many of us are guilty of such doings. Actually, we do "fix" it. We gripe and whine about this situation to someone who is completely out of the situation. There is another commonly used word for that which I shall refrain from using. So it seems, correcting the communication breakdown is a whole new level of communication as well.
Tiffany: I refer to your "one ear in, other ear out" phrase. It has something to do with hearing and listening. I did an entry about hearing and listening too so if anyone is interested you all can check it out.
January 24, 2010 at 2:40 PM
Hi Tiffany!
Yes, I agree with you and Stephanie that the effective communication channel plays a very important role when communicating, especially to people who don't really know us. People who know us well, even with a few short phrases, would understand the message we are trying to convey. However, with strangers - using the wrong kind of channel - could be disastrous.
What Jude says is right. Food for thought: I guess it has something to do with our Asian upbringing? To be more passive compared to the Westerners? I mean part of the values by Confusianism is 'ren' (means patience in English). =) In the end, we resort to whining...
January 24, 2010 at 9:22 PM
Hi Tiff!
I totally agree with you that one way to engage in active listening is to scan through the notes on what the lecturer is going to talk about. This will enable us to follow what the lecture is trying to say. However I think that there are other factors that affect actively listening. The accent of the lecturers will make it hard for us to understand what the lecturer is talking about. In this case, perhaps the best communication channel could be emailing the lecturer. Of course there are many things that are preventing us from active listening during lectures. We are so easily distracted. Our physical being could be in lecture but our minds can be so many miles away!
Thanks for sharing about the project that is in year 1. I am sure that the example is something that we all can relate to. If we have effectively communicated with our project members, it could save us a lot of time and a lot of misunderstanding could be prevented!
PS: I think this module is going to be fun too! :D
January 24, 2010 at 10:43 PM
Haha! I have to admit I am guilty of what you described in your post. Sometimes, when I try to recall the things said in a conversation with my friends, I realised that I did not follow through with the things that they were trying to tell me and instead went on to talk about my own issue. Many times, it was subconsciously done and I had been trying to consciously change that habit and am still trying to do it.
However, I am guilty of another 'crime'. I have not mastered the skill of effective communication. I tend to give too much details regarding one issue resulting in my audience losing their attention on me.
I guess, like unspecific information, too much information can have a negative effect as well to the audience. So, a balance should be striked so as to have effective communication with people.
January 26, 2010 at 12:22 AM
Hi Tiffany,
I got the problems communicating via sms and msm in my very first semester of NUS. I did not understand sms and msm short forms at that time. I had to ask back a lot to know what that really meant.From that time to so far, I prefer face to face channel whenever there is a discussion. I absolutely agree with you that effective communication is fundamental and important for a project to be smoothly carried out. Misunderstanding is a terrible thing whatever it is a lecture or a project. I also agree with Vanessa that the accent of the lecturer makes me sometimes confused. In my first year time, I encountered tutors from different countries such as China, Vietnam, Indonesia ,India and their different accent made me confused a lot .I also hope that my communication skill would be improved better through this module.
January 27, 2010 at 1:36 AM
Woah! There’s so much to reply to.. I shall try my best :)
Steph: I do agree with you about the internet. However, I do think that following up with the email could have helped and all, maybe through a simple sms or just a quick call. However, much of these ideas are on hindsight :P I guess everyone has to go through such an experience to truly realize the importance of effective communication.
Dee & Van & Thu Win: Yeah I agree that there are a lot more reasons why students like us zone out during lecture. The list could go on for quite a bit. Some examples would be not understanding the lecturer’s accent as Thu Win pointed out, or even feeling too tired as Dee put it. One trick that I learnt about being tired and not listening to lecture would be to suck a sweet, for me it does help keep me awake at least. :)
Soon Yee: Hey, read your post. I like the phrase which you use: “I can talk but I need to speak; I can hear but I need to listen”. Many times we just talk without processing the information which we blurt out, and go through the motion of hearing. Which I think may sometimes be detrimental to ourselves when we go through life missing a lot of important information and falling short of what we can actually achieve.
Val: Yeah I guess sometimes we are guilty of choosing sms, msn and even emails over meeting up someone face to face or talking over the phone because we’re just choose the most convenient way to get our message across instead of having to plan our schedules to confirm when we can meet up.
Lin: Haha! I’m still trying to curb my enthusiasm sometimes. Oops :X
January 27, 2010 at 10:24 PM
Thanks, Tiffany, for the post. You personalize the topic well, bringing up areas in which you experienced comm breakdowns and where you now see a strong need to develop better skills. Your story of the committee is especially illustative.
I see a few problems in your language use here, in particular, in some sentence structure. For example:
1) Many of us have been asked that question however we fall into the habit of ‘in one ear, and out the other’ type of listening. >>>
Many of us have been asked that question. However, we fall into the habit of ‘in one ear, and out the other’ type of listening.
2) Or even at times, where we suddenly cut into people’s conversations midway and sidetrack the topic with our responses and own experiences, which I like others have been guilty of doing so, much to my chagrin. >>>
There are even times when we suddenly cut into people’s conversations midway and sidetrack the topic with our responses and own experiences. Like others, I have been guilty of doing this, much to my chagrin.
As you can see, right from the start you have basic sentence structure issues to deal with. I'd suggest an editor check your work first. I'd also caution you against writing just as you speak. Finally, you might want to look at the Purdue OWL site for information that is clear and concise regarding sentence structure.
January 28, 2010 at 2:46 PM
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